(via lisacim)
Lisa.Cimorelli: I'm just not a social creature...
I’m wondering if there’s anything wrong with my life right now. I’m not depressed but I do feel a little isolated… First off, I’m not “normal”. I’ve never been normal and I don’t want to, so it doesn’t concern me that the tiny amount of social interaction I get per month is extremely abnormal.
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(via lisacim)
Lisa.Cimorelli: Perfectionism...
There are a lot of insecure people in the world today. Of course, everyone has their issues, different flaws they struggle to accept and so on. However, it seems that after a certain point of getting to know someone, I discover that pretty much everyone I’ve met so far has at least a few deep…
Lisa.Cimorelli: When I wash my makeup off at the end of the day,
I’m still beautiful. When I hurt someone, I’m still a good person. When it seems I’ve ruined everything and all hope is gone, there’s still a chance for me. When life is filled with stress and tension and there’s no end in sight to all the madness, it’s only a very small portion of the road I’m…
Lisa.Cimorelli: Showing your flaws is scary.
“maybe we’re ashamed of our imperfections bc we think that if we let others see them, they won’t like us anymore.”
Someone just tweeted this to me in the midst of a discussion on where the pressure to be perfect comes from. So true! We are TERRIFIED of exposing our flaws. Why?
Because if someone…
Back.
Hey everyone,
I am back, and I’m sorry to tell you that I’m still not doing well. I fucking hate myself. I can’t understand what I’m doing. I wanna move out of the fucking house. I’m annoyed at the most little things. I can’t bring myself to study. Tears are welling up deep inside, but the tears just won’t flow. I feel heavy. I feel useless. I feel like a FAILURE. A big fat fucking failure.
Listening to Skyscraper right now by my favorite band to find “hope”, if there is such thing.
I’M A WEAKLING.
I am so disappointed in myself. I am a failure. A big one, at that. I am a mess, and I know that I am my own solution, but I can’t figure things out. I used to be on top of everything. I used to be happy and… alive. Now I feel like I’m just existing. With no family. No friends. Nothing. Even school is out of my control. I need help. I can’t do this on my own. But the problem is I can’t even specifically identify what the problem is. And I don’t know how to tell anybody. I used to be this budding flower with beautiful, healthy petals. Now I’m just an ugly, futile and flowerless stem. Everyone around me seems to be doing better… and ACCOMPLISHING things. I, on the other hand, never get ANYTHING done. I have been painfully unproductive for the past few weeks, and I hate that I’m watching myself failing. Tremendously. Helplessly. I hate that I don’t have self-control. And I hate that I’m craving alcohol to make all these go away. I KNOW that alcohol will do NOTHING to make things better. But who knows.
I’m a loser. No friends. No social life. A failure in school. Ugly. Worthless. Stupid for love. I’m pretty sure my boyfriend, who I haven’t talked to in so long, is cheating on me. Again. Cheers to another heartbreak, hun. And the WORST part is, EVERYONE is expecting so much from me when in fact I have nothing to give.
I just wanna quit school.
